HEINUS – NEW YORK The Hostess companay, maker of famous snacks such as Twinkies and Ding Dongs, has filed for bankruptcy protection. A group of international chefs, led by Wolfgang Puck, has formed to help save the company. The group, dubbed Save American Legacy Snacks (SALS), plans several events to publicize the need to save Hostess. “We can’t let this great example of edible Americana go,” Puck said. “People need to think of Hostess confections in a new way.” Below are some of the events SALS has lined up.
Twinkie Palace: Chef Marcuse D’Arbuncease, head chef at Le Pigeonaire in Arbuckle, Tennessee, plans to build a 50=room palace using twinkies. D’Arbuncease will then choose a local high school student to use a firefighting cannon to shoot hot oil at the palace and deep fat fry it in place. Once fried, D’Arbuncease will release 100 stray dogs to eat the palace in what he hopes is record time.
Ding Dong Ding Dong: Master chef Jon Jorgensen of the Mexicali Grill in Weyburn, Ohio, has assembled a team of 12,000 volunteers who will ring doorbells throughout the metropolitan are of Weyburn. Homeowners who answer will be asked to choose one of two Ring Ding cakes. One Ring Ding could hold the key to a brand new 2009 Yundao car, imported from North Korea. Another Ring Ding will have thumb drive containing all of Chef Jorgensen’s favorite recipes, including General Tsao’s Norwegian nutmeg-glazed chicken, or South Dakato Clam Cakes in Rendered Beef Suet.
Ho Ho Rodeo: Assistant Deputy Head Chef Vilma Glatz of the Cherry Buffet in Toemolla, Kansas, will recruit streetwalkers to participate in a bull riding rodeo at Lally’s Bar in nearby Topeka. Whichever contestant can stay on the bull the longest will win their weight of their choice of Ho Hos cakes or powdered gum of agar.
(suet image by FotoosvanRobin)