No Pulitzer for fiction – 2012 will be “year without prizes”

HEINUS – NEW YORK  The Pulitzer Prize Committee has decided not to award a Pulitzer for fiction this year. According to experts, this is just the start of what will likely be the least awarded year in recent history. Marty Delvecchio, an international prize consultant who has worked for the Pulitzer, Nobel, Peabody and HeadCheese America awards organizations, says the lack of a winner for the fiction Pulitzer is just the beginning of a lackluster year in prizes. “You couldn’t give prizes away this year,” Delvecchio said.

Some of the special awards that likely will not be awarded in 2012:

Nobel Prize for Physics – According to Delvecchio, the Nobel Prize Committee in Oslo is “still pissed” about the Japanese meltdown at Fukushima. The prize committee blames physicists for the Japan reactor debacle and for smartphones. It will not name a winner until somebody, in the words of one judge, “gets off their ass and figures out how to get energy from dirt or something.”

The Al-Gaddafi International Prize for Human Rights – Given annually since 1989, stewardship of the award is up in the air since the death of the Libyan leader. Several well-known people have been approached to take over administering the award, including Dick Cheney, George W. Bush and Victoria Beckham, but all have declined due to scheduling or reading comprehension issues.

The Geraldo Rivera Excellence in Broadcasting Prize –  Rivera lost control of this award in 2006 after a prolonged court battle with Glenn Beck. But the prize will likely fall dormant this year. According to insiders, even Beck believes that giving the award to himself for the 6th straight year might be excessive.

The Mao Zedong People’s Insurgency Award – Another long-running prize, instituted by Mao while on vacation in Vietnam in 1952, the MZPIA is not expected to be awarded in 2012 as there are no Marxists insurgencies “doing important work” right now.

(Nobel committee room image by Hans A. Rosbach, Victoria Beckham image by LGEPR)