HEINUS – DENVER Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow threw for 316 yards in the Broncos Jan. 8 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers and reportedly received a unusual radio message calling for what became the winning play in overtime. The NFL is investigating the unusual signals received by Tebow’s helmet radio. According to Rick Fermi, an NFL spokesman, the signals were not coming from either the Broncos or the Steelers sidelines. “These were not play calling signals as we know them.” NFL investigators were eventually led to a little church in Texas where a preacher claims to knows the origin of the signals.
Scientist at the SETI Institute were the first to analyze the signals and determine they were not from earth and were in no known human language. After following several leads, NFL investigators contacted Rev. Bobby Lee Landry, pastor of the Church of God, the Lord & the Option Play in Logallo, Texas. Landry claims the signals picked up by the NFL monitoring crew were divine play calling instructions from Heaven. “We all think we’re pretty good at football here in Texas, but up in Heaven there’s a dream team,” Landry said. “They’re a team of angels called the Seraphim and they got a double wing formation you have got to believe to see.”
Landry says he has a special radio that can receive the Seraphim play calls. “I can hear ’em and I use those same plays for my team.” Landry is the head coach of the Logallo High School Red Devils. Landry’s team has not won a game in 11 years, but the Preacher insists they are about to turn the corner. “With these here angel play calls, we’re on the upswing for sure.”
Landry insists that Tebow’s success against the Steelers is because Tebow can also hear the angelic play calls in his helmet radio. “That game winning pass play Timmy threw against Pittsburgh is a favorite of the Seraphims’ QB, the Archangel Gabriel himself,” Landry said. “The Seraphim were in a playoff game at the very same time as the Broncos were playing the Steelers. That team of angels were battling the top team from Hell, the Beelzebub Goatheads, and the angels were down by three points. The Lord himself sent that play call into Gabriel’s helmet. I’m surely glad Timmy heard it and ran the self-same play.”
(Tebow image by Jeffrey Beall)